Ending tears
by Ayaika Chan
Summary: Goku's past comes back to haunt him, something he did haunts him the most. He loses it, slowly, but tries to find help. What or who is haunting him, and who can help? Warnings:tearful,yaoi COMPLETE
1. Reminiscing

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. Nor do I own anything else in this fic.. If I owned DBZ... I wouldn't act so obsessed...

A-Chan: Yea! A new story! This is in the POV of Goku. Just to let you know ahead of time, though I am sure you would find out within the first two minutes of the fic anyway! ack, stupid me... why do I always make myself look stupid?!?! O well, I'll leave you and the fic alone now. Wait no! I won't! One more thing! This fic contains Yaoi, and it is pretty lemony, so if you don't like yoai, don't read it. I don't want you to read a fic by stupid ol' me if you get offended. There will be Yaoi in later chapters, but not right away. Well, thanks for bearing with me, here is my story. ^-^ Oh, P.S. these **** indicate flashbacks for me, if you did not know. They will be before and after every flashback. This story contains many.. so if you find that annoying, sorry....

I lay in my hammock, on a cool autumn day. I rock back and forth slowly, as thoughts fill my head. It's been exactly ten years since Vegeta had passed. The wind blows my hair in my face, and leafs creep over my body. But I do not care. I have always mourned the loss of him. I never found closure, I suppose. I have been sitting here, in this old hammock for over two hours, just reminiscing. I remember everything Vegeta and I did together, but it's been so long, I can hardly picture what he looked like anymore. 

*Flashback* 

" Kakarot, why must you sit there and look at me like that?"

" I dunno. I was just thinking about how damn handsome you are." I grin.

Vegeta smiles and kisses my lips. " I love you." 

" I love you too."

*End Flashback*

I remember the first time he told me that. And I remember how handsome he was. But I can hardly picture it. I wonder why we never took any pictures.... 

He had long, crimson-black hair. I remember running my fingers through it slowly while staring in his emotionless eyes. That is one thing I remember. He never showed his emotions in the beginning. He always held them back. But not when we were alone together. Somehow I found away to get deep into him, to get him to open up, and tell me everything. He learned how to trust me. I think he may have trusted me more than anyone. I hope so. 

A small drop of water lands on my nose as I lay. It's beginning to rain. The drop trails down over my jaw bone, and drips down my neck. It's warm. I begin to wonder if it was rain, or if I had begun to shed tears. It did not matter. It seems like it rains every year at this time. 

****

" Vegeta! Be careful, you might slip!"

" Oh Kakarot, don't be silly, I can keep my balance just- ack!"

" I told you Vegeta, now you are going to get sick!" 

"It's only a little bit of rain Kakarot!"

We laugh together.

****

He loved the rain. He would stand in it, and not care. It seems like he found rain to be reassuring somehow. I loved it when he would come home to me with his hair slicked down, and his clothes clinging taut to his petite body. 

I remember making love to him in the fields, on the beach, in the mountains and forests. We would make love out in the open, with the cool breeze on our bare bodies, and the faint sunset in the distance. I loved how he looked at me and quietly whimpered my name. 

I see a hover car in the distance. _NO. Not a visitor.. please.. not today.. I'm not in any condition to speak with anyone. _ It comes closer and closer, and I soon recognize Bulma driving. 

_I guess I can handle seeing her.._

She steps out of the car, with her head down, and a small package in her hand. She walks up the stairs of my small cabin, onto my porch, where I sit in the hammock in the corner. I hear the boards of my porch moan with her every step. 

She's gotten tired. I see her royal blue eyes, that normally have a pleasant sparkle to them, looking dull, and wrinkled. _We're getting old..._Yes, she is depressed. She went through a lot with Vegeta. Then, she lost him. He came to me. I always thought that she loathed me because of the love Vegeta and I held. 

Vegeta left his wife to be with me when our feelings finally surfaced. He decided that he had to be with the one that he loved and cherished. And she let him go. Something that I could have never done. But I was forced to... when he died.. 

I sit up and stumble out of the hammock. Bulma and I embrace each other. _How long has it been? _Since we last saw each other... _Long_... My last memory of her was when she came to give Vegeta his belongings. That is when she first became distant. That is when she lost her positive attitude, her cheeriness. 

She looks into my eyes and silently brushes her hand over my cheek. _I used to love her._ She was like a sister. We were the finest friends. I knew her ever since I was a naive, innocent little child. Before love was trivial and death was apparent. I never understood death when I was young....

But now I do. I understand that it is imminent, and irrevocable.

A tear strolls down her cheek, as I try to suppress my own. I guess she became aware of the emotional affect of his death. 

Several years ago, her own son took his life because of the remorse. He could not handle it. I often considered it myself. If it was not for the fact that I had a son of my own who I was very devoted to, I would have. 

I wipe her tear away and pull her forehead to my cheek. We stay rested in this position for a few moments. 

She is suffering. She has no one anymore. Not even her own parents to tend to her needs. She is very needy too, and of course we understand why. 

****

The party lights flash, and everyone leaps onto the dance floor without one feeling of regret. Our laughs and cheering almost conquer the blaring music. I grab Bulma's hand and spin her around. I grab my own wife, and toss her around. My dance moves needed some work, I admit. I smirk as I dance with all of my beloved friends. 

****

We used to have parties all the time. But that was before Vegeta and I got together. 

Vegeta and I were so content with each other. I wondered why Bulma wouldn't just be glad that Vegeta was finally happy. But, she was in love with him. But so was I. 

I pull us apart and look at Bulma with a questioning glance. She handed me the package and slowly walked back to her car. I held the package to my side, and watched as her car silently drove away. 

Not one word. I suppose it was not needed. We had nothing to say to each other that our motions and actions could not translate. It is kind of depressing though; knowing that I cannot socialize with my best friend anymore because there are still feelings of betrayal. 

_I am sorry..._

I walk into my house, and sit on my bed. I lay the package next to me. For some reason, my wife struck my mind. _My wife..._ Now there is someone who has not crossed my mind for many years. 

****

" I am sorry Goku.." 

Tears stream down my eyes as I stare at the woman I once loved fade away from me.

****

She died from an illness many humans get.. though.. I forget what it was.. not like it matters...

It seems like everyone is dying nowadays. Many of my friends are gone. They all flash in my mind suddenly. 

Krillin.. 18.. Tien..Yamcha..Piccolo.. Chaotzu..Trunks.. Chi- chi... Videl.. Gohan..._Gohan..._

Boy do I miss Gohan...

It seems like old age had struck all of my friends. _I am old..._ It seems like I still have several years ahead of me, or so my doctor had said. He thought I was in perfect shape to last several more years. 

There are only a few of my friends still living, now that I think about it.. Pan, I see her rarely. Goten visits me occasionally to see how I am doing. Dende.. we talk sometimes, he often visits my thoughts before dinner. Bulma and Bra.. I haven't seen Bra for a while, but she is not that old.. _Is she still alive? _

It hurts.. I am hurting now.. Tears have become more apparent as they wander over my face. 

_Vegeta.. Oh Vegeta... I would give anything to talk to you again. Or to just see your face... _

I stand up to walk to my kitchen for water, when I suddenly feel hatred. Pain strikes deep in my gut. I search for someone I could blame... So that somehow I could find reassurance. _Why does it still hurt?!?!_

I open my mouth and prepare to shout. I am ready to yell on top of my voice, to anyone....But my hatred is always only directed at one specific person.. and it was not his fault.. 

God...

I fall to my knees and tug at my hair. I hit the ground with my fists, and watch as splinters fly. 

" Oh, Kami! How can you do this to me?! To us? You have taken away all that I have ever cared about! How could you?! It hurts.. oh it hurts... send him back.. please.. I need him.. I need him.. My angel..." I feel my voice weaken to a whisper as tears pour to the ground, and blood drips from my splintered hands. 

" Look at what you have done.. Bulma.. I.. my son... we are dying inside! This pain.. this pain.. when will it end?" 

I fall weak to the ground and lie there. I do not move. _Why can't I find closure? Why must everyone leave....._

I do not move for minutes, and when I do, I feel like I cannot move. I slowly saunter to my bed and lie down. I rest. I wish that I will never wake up.. but that doesn't work... 

I hear Vegeta's voice in my head. It echoes loudly. _It's like he is haunting me... _His voice pierces into me as it gets louder and louder and I finally hear what he is saying.

Yes.. I know what he is saying. He is suffering.. _Stop._ His voice sounds weak and broken.. _Please stop.. no.. stop thinking about that..._His breathing is weak and his mouth dry. I see him now in my head.. _No.. Please get these thoughts out of my head... _The day of his death.. _Why must this come into my thoughts? _

**** 

He reaches up and strokes my cheek. He stares in my eyes. His eyes are red, and tired. It is his time to go.. But I won't accept it..

" I love you Kakarot.. I will miss you.." 

" No. Don't say your goodbyes.. you're going to live through this.. I know it.. Just...hush.. please.. You'll be okay.." 

We sat alone in his hospital room. I asked them to leave us alone. I needed to be alone with him for one last time... 

" Kakarot.. It is my time, and we both know it.. Please don't mourn for me long. Everything will be okay." There is a moment of silence where Vegeta struggles with his breath, " I'll always be with you...." He points to my heart, " Here. Just.. don't forget me.. I will always love you..." 

I sit silent staring in his glazed eyes. I remember the doctor saying that he had a couple more days to live. _So what is he supposed to suffer until then?! _ The doctor told me that this lung problem was painful, when I forced the answer out of him earlier. His body was torture to live with...

It took him so long to say words.. he was so weak.... He was suffering.. My love was suffering.. why? _Why?_

" I love you Vegeta," I say, as I prepare to walk out of the room. I can't stay, or I will have an emotional break down in front of him. 

He grabs my hand. _Stay with me..._I decipher from his lips. He coughs. _Suffering.. _I can't get over the fact that he is suffering so bad and he will for a couple more days. 

He stares at the ceiling. He is distant.. so much pain... I can't hold it back.. and I can't let him suffer anymore... I can't let my love live with this pain.. but I can't stop the pain for him...

_Or can I? _

I sit for a moment and my face goes blank. My mind stops, and so do the tears.. I slowly pull the pillow to his face....

A moment later, and my love is gone. I watch his body grow faint and his chest stop moving. He is no longer suffering.. _Had I done the right thing? _I let go of his hand and brushed mine over his face to close his eyes. 

I walk out of the room with a stoic look across my face. My eyes wide and throat tight.. but tears won't come.. I'm in shock at what I've done......

****

I stopped his suffering.. and yet.. I blame myself for it all because of that..

Yes..._His death still haunts me..._ I cry myself to sleep.


	2. Insane Loneliness

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. 

So, here is the next chapter. Thanks for all your encouragement!*sweat drop* Please review when you are finished reading. That would make me very happy. ^.^

" Vegeta? Is that you?" I see a faint blur of Vegeta in the distance.

" Yes." Is all I hear, but that is enough.

I smile and run towards him. My love leaps into my arms as tears build up behind my eyes. I let the tears fall as I kiss his cheeks and his nose repeatedly. I am so excited to see him.. It feels like it has been so long. 

" I missed you so much.." I sigh. 

" I missed you too. I am so glad to see you," He says. His voice still sounds distant. 

I kiss him and slowly stroke his hair. I run my hand over his sides and his back. _He feels so real. But is he? Could I really be in a place with him? _

He kisses my lips and holds me tight. _Don't let go.. Don't leave me again..._ He pulls back and stares in my eyes. 

" You haven't changed a bit. You are still a handsome young saiyan." He smirks. 

" You too." I feel at loss for words. 

He takes my hand and walks with me. I don't know where we are, and I don't bother to ask. I tell him everything that happened while we were apart. He smiles and looks so happy. I am glad.

I put an arm over his shoulder and sit down. We are on the beach now. _How did we get here? _O well. I hold him close as we watch the sun set. It was a beautiful sight. I am so glad to be watching it with him.

I kiss him on the forehead, and he follows by kissing my neck. _I have waited so long to get close to him again. _He pulls off my shirt with wanting and I lean him down in the sand. _Like old times. _I kiss him again, and his hot tongue reaches into my mouth. 

We kiss for a moment, and then I lean back, prepared to pull off his shirt. I look at him and smile. But at that moment, something changes. His skin grows pail, and his face emotionless. His eyes look like dark hollows in his face. His limbs motionless, and his body weightless. 

I scream and jump back, realizing that it is not the living anymore. I scream and start to hyperventilate. Sweat pours down me as I sit in shock, staring at the dead body. 

And I wake up. I jolt up in my bed, and try to catch my breath. 

" Stop haunting me!!" I cry. 

My body is sticky with sweat, and my face has streaks from the tears. _What a terrible dream... _I shriek and run to the bathroom. I vomit. My stomach feels like it is churning. I am dizzy, and my face pale with disgust. _Is it because I killed him that he haunts me?? _

I slowly walk back to my bed and fall down. My body is still covered in sweat, although the temperature is very low. I look up and see that I left my door open. There is a puddle of water in my house from the rain, and wind is blowing papers about in that room. 

I walk and glance out at the gloomy sky. The water trickles on my face and I close my eyes. The wind blows and I shiver. It is going to snow. 

****

" Take that Kakarot!!" Vegeta shouts as a snowball hits my head. 

" Ha ha, take this!" I yell as a snowball of mine hits him and knocks him over. _I threw that too hard..._

He lies on the ground and looks up at me smiling. _So fun... _I sigh. 

****

__

I am so sorry.. Please forgive me..

I go back to my bed and sit down. _Everything will be better after the day ends.. It always is... _But this year is different. Never had I so many thoughts of him go through my mind.

I sit back on my bed again, but this time, I feel something hard on my leg. I glance down and see the package that Bulma had brought for me earlier. _What could it be? _I try to tear it open, but it won't budge. 

" Damn thing.." 

I walk to my kitchen and find a knife. I struggle with the package for several moments, and when I get back to it, it is empty. 

" Nani?" I turn and pace around solemnly. _Is this some kind of joke? _I'm not laughing. 

" Hello." I hear Vegeta's voice very faintly. 

My head turns immediately to where it came from, but there was nothing there. I step forward, and hear it again. 

" Get that thing out of my face!" 

I start searching around frantically. _Where is he? Am I still sleeping?! _Suddenly, I see where it is coming from. A small recorder is lying on the ground. I pick it up and sigh. I listen closely. 

" Bulma, please! This is embarrassing! Come on!" I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Bulma gave me a recording of him. _Thank you.. Maybe this will cheer me up. _

I look at the recorder for a couple of moments, and find a button. I push it, and within seconds, there is a hologram of Vegeta, pacing around Capsule Corp. 

I smile bigger, and feel tears again. _He looks young. This is an old recorder. _He looks so cute. He turns and smiles. It is as if he is there with me. I hear Bulma's voice. 

" Say something Vegeta!" 

" What do you want me to say, Woman?!" I laugh as he turns and puts his hands on his hips. 

" Say something about your friends. I dunno, I just want you to say something!" 

Suddenly Vegeta starts imitating someone. He pulls his shoulders back, and puts his chest out. He marches around. 

" Look at how strong I am! Look! Ka me ha me ha!!!" I immediately start laughing. A tear of joy falls on my shirt. _It worked. I feel better already. _

I turn it off. That is all I need. I will watch more tomorrow. 

I watch it everyday. It was almost as if the recorder of him became my new companion. I often found myself trying to get into the conversations he was having. _Maybe I am going insane? I need to stop this... this is not going to help me get better..._

But I don't stop. Late one afternoon, I found that I had memorized a whole conversation. I would say everything Bulma would back to Vegeta, almost as If we were really having a conversation. 

"Yes Vegeta, we do need to buy potatoes for the stew I make tonight." I mimic Bulma. 

" I'm not doing it." He grunts. 

I smile. Then I stop. _What am I doing? _

I am lonely....I need someone... anyone to talk to.. I am going to go insane. _Or maybe I already am? _I have lost my control. I sleep next to the recorder now. It sits at the table with me.... _Crazy.. _I tell myself. 

__

I am sick... I need help.. I am going to find help... 

I walk outside and start down my driveway. _Where am I going? _I ask myself. It seems like my feet are just carrying me away... _Where should I go...? _I contemplate.

^-^ Review please!!! All you gotta do is press this button.

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	3. Searching for help

Disclaimer: Oh... it hurts... No... I don't own DBZ... tear and the song I use in this one is by Evanescence... they are so cool ^-^ I don't own them either though.... sigh

A-Chan: Well, here's chapter three. I am hoping for some more review's, or I'm gonna have to slow down with my posting of new chapters! hehe. But, I admit, this fic is doing better than I expected... I didn't think it would do well at all... like my other fic... *cough cough* _Don't remind me. _Oh, and I add the song because It emphasizes how he feels somewhat... And it just fits with the story a little...It's depressing tho... sniff

I walk down my driveway for what seems like hours. _Why does it seem like so much longer than before? _I haven't walked it for a long time.. _What is the point of leaving home anyway? Where is there to go. _

It is still raining. My hair is soaking, and falling all in my face. I look at the sky and let it fall over my face. It douses me completely. My clothes feel like they weigh a ton. _Kill me...._ I wish there was someone who would.

I feel like a zombie. My body continues.. but my soul does not want to. _Suicide..._ Rings in my head. _The easy way out. _But am I really that weak? Weak enough as to have to take the easy way out? Well.... _yes.. but I am too much of a coward. _I think. 

I walk through a town. I see people staring at me. I ignore them, but I hear their words. 

"_Is he okay?" _

" Get away from him son, he's a creep." 

" Pneumonia is spreading... sir? Would you like an umbrella?" 

I ignore them.. I walk through the town for what feels like an hour. _What am I doing? Where am I going? _I walk straight through a restaurant. The manager tries to stop me. But I ignore him.

"_Sir, if you are not a costumer, I am going to have to ask you to leave. You are tracking mud on our brand new carpet sir!" _

I ignore him and stand still in the middle of the room. _My mind is not complying.. It won't do anything sensible... _

I leave after I feel completely irritated. I continue in the direction I was walking. I end at the beach. 

I stare at the sky. All thoughts seem to leave my mind as I sit. _I cannot go on..._

I'm so tired of being here

suppressed by all my childish fears.

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

cus' your presence still lingers here

and It won't leave me alone. 

These wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just so much that time cannot erase

You'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand for all of these years...

You still held ...on me...

I feel tears build up as a knot forms in my throat. 

__

You used to captivate me by your resinating mind.

Now I'm bind by the life you left behind

Your face it holds..

my once plans and dreams

your voice it traced away 

all the sanity in me...

I slowly open my mouth, preparing to speak.. but.. _who would I talk to..? _

These wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just to real 

there's just so much that time cannot erase.

You'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand for all of these years...

You still held ...on me...

I pull of my shirt, It is weighing me down. Vegeta didn't wear shirts often. I think he liked to show off his chiseled muscles.. _They aren't necessary anyway._

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone..

but though you're still with me

I've been alone all along...

"Vegeta..." I sigh. " Where are you? Are you doing okay? Are they treating you well?" I speak to the stars. 

I smile slightly, though it is forced. " I'm sure you are in a better place.. though.. I still wish you were here with me. You were my only love; my only friend even." 

Tears appear again. " Do you still remember the times we spent with each other? Do you remember what we used to do..? The places we went? The way we..." I swallow " Loved each other?" 

" Do you still love me? Is it possible to love me after what.. I did...?" 

" Oh Kami, I would do anything to make it up to you..." I feel like I am falling.. _will I ever reach the bottom? _

" Do you hate me for what I did?" _Breathe... _" Could you ever forgive me?" 

I choke. I see his death in my head again. I see myself pulling the pillow from his face, and realizing what I had done. 

He was not breathing.. something I don't even deserve to do.. He was dead.. He was dying the whole time.. and _I _was the one to end it for him...

I fall asleep in the sand. 

" Vegeta?" No.. His lifeless body on his hospital bed. _What have I done?! _I scream aloud in pain. His empty eyes pierce deep in my heart. His lifeless body lay limp on the bed. His hands cold, and his face a pale gray. 

I sit in shock still. _Why did I do that? I ended the pain but.. what about mine.. It did not help that.. I thought not living with him suffering would make me feel better... but.. no..._

I feel sick. His eyes stare straight through me. As if it is looking for something... looking for truth... for my true intention................

A-Chan: Don't worry, it will get better when 'Geta gets here! That'll come soon, so be patient! And while you're waiting.. why not review?! ^.^ And, it won't always be so depressing, trust me. 


	4. Saying Goodbyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, and I'm over it... *bawls*

A-Chan: Sorry it took so long to add a new chapter. It wouldn't let me upload. -_-;; But, I posted two to make you feel better. 

open my eyes slowly. The sun is coming up. _Did I stay here all night? .....Guess so. _I try to lay back down, when I lie on a pair of feet. I look up in shock, to see my son. 

" Um.. Hello.. What are you doing here?" 

" Father.. I've been searching all over for you! You got me worried!" He looks in my eyes with impatience, searching for some kind of response. 

I look into his middle-aged eyes and shrug. I sit up. 

" I am sorry. I did not mean to make you worry, though you know I can take care of myself." I stand and embrace him for a moment. 

" Father, you are getting old. It may not be as easy as it used to. You know, taking care of yourself. So.. I decided that I want you to move in with my wife and I." 

" NO." I say and look toward where my house stands. " I'm not leaving my cabin." 

" Father! I am not going to argue with you, I am demanding that you come and live with me." 

" You can't demand me to do anything! I'm not leaving that house." 

It grows silent for a moment as I think. 

****

" Kakarot, grab that hammer there, you silly." 

" This one?" I say. 

" Yes." Vegeta smiles. 

I grab the hammer and start to hammer a nail into one of the boards. My clumsy hand seems to slip, and I crush my finger. I shout profanities as I shake my hand, trying to rid myself of the pain. 

"Aaw.. Kaka.. let me make it feel better." Vegeta says as he kisses my wound. 

****

Vegeta and I had built that cabin together.. We lived in it together.. I just.. can't leave all of that behind....

" I know why you don't want to leave it father... But it is time." 

" Time for what?" I know what he means, I grow impatient with him.

" Time for you to leave it behind. Time for you to get over his death, Father. It's been so long, why can't you just leave it all behind, forget it...?"

" Because Goten! He was my only love, my only friend. I will never get over it.. until I see him again... It was too hard to bear... When he left.. a part of me did to.. The part of me that was most essential. The part of me that loved.. I'll never be able to love again.. So... what is the point of my living?" I suddenly start to think of that word again.. _suicide._

Goten grabs my shoulders and shakes them. " Father, wake up, and see that you aren't the only one who has lost someone. It is a part of life, it is inevitable. It is bound to happen to everyone. There are people who went through the same thing you did. But they carry on with their life! At least he went peacefully!" 

My eyes widen as I see Vegeta dying by my hands. _Peacefully?.. No not at all.. and It's my fault... _My eyes fill with tears, and I no longer can see my son. 

" Father?" He shakes me again, stirring my thoughts. I come back to reality.

" Are you alright? Is there something you want to tell me?"

" No son.." 

**** 

I walk out of the hospital room, with my eyes wide and face pale with shock. Trunks looks up at me. He knows. _Somehow he knew what had happened. _Yes, the Saiyans have a telepathic bond.. That's how I could tell that he knew what I did. But he was the only one who sensed it. The only one who ever knew, at that. He knew that it was better I did that.. But I could see extreme envy toward me.

****

Trunks committed the act of suicide two years later. Not only was his father's death too hard for him to bare, he was hurt knowing that I helped him pass. Trunks trusted me.. I guess I lost that ... He hated me for doing what I did, but because he trusted me so much.. he didn't tell anyone.. he just hated me. He looked up to me as his second father.. and I lost all of his trust and respect.. 

_I wonder if he has even forgiven me.. _My throat tightens with my emotions. 

" Father, can we go?" He looks at me, wondering what is wrong. 

" Where is there to go...?" I say vaguely. 

" To my house. You are coming with me.. You are going to stay with me." 

I follow him to his hover car, and get in slowly. I look at the leather seats, and remember Vegeta's leather jacket. 

_Hanging in the closet still. _

I look out the window and watch as we drive away at a high speed. I find myself saying my goodbyes.. 

_Goodbye to the beach where Vegeta and I spent our romantic nights..._

Goodbye to the house where we lived in harmony... 

Goodbye to the trail we walked on together..

Goodbye to the field we had picnics in...

Goodbye to lost hopes and dreams..

Goodbye to love...

Goodbye... my companion.. I have to leave you in the past.....

A-Chan: *sad, tear* Soon, soon... he will find his love, don't worry...


	5. Good News

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z..

A-Chan: Yippee! It's letting me upload! And because it is, I think by tomorrow I will have two new fics up! If not, just one. I'd been planning on it for a long time but, yea. I will try to get chapters to this fic up as much as possible, but it's kind of a shorter fic, so I have to slow it down. My other fic is longer, so I need to spend more time on it, so you will have to bear with me. I hope you are enjoying it so far...

We arrive at Goten's house, and I see someone I haven't seen in a long time. Bra. She is the split- image of her mother when she was middle- aged. She has long azure hair, and bright sapphire eyes. She has a very womanly body, long slender legs, and a small waste. Her lips are a vivid red, and she is biting her bottom lip. She is wearing a red sundress, mid-length, and small sandals. I see that she is crying. _What could be wrong? _

" Goten.." She manages as she falls onto his chest. 

" Bra? Are you okay? What is wrong?" Goten asks as he pats his wife on the back. 

" My mother.. she is.. gone..." She says as she bursts into tears. 

I stand in shock. _Now Bulma is gone?? No.. It can't be..._ I saw this coming but.. not so soon.. Everyone is dying.. It is her time... 

I walk into my son's house and say hello to my granddaughter. She is only in her teen years. I walk to the guestroom and lock the door. I fall on the bed. I sigh. 

_Now Bulma is gone....I wish we could have resolved our problem before she left... _

Several weeks have passed since then, and I haven't been back to my own house yet. I decide that I need to get some of my things. 

I walk around in my room, gathering my clothes. I put on Vegeta's leather jacket and smile. It is a little small, but I like it. I look in the mirror, and take an eyeful before turning to my bed. _I look good in this._ I grin. 

I start to take my blankets from my bed, when I find the recorder. _I know what I can do with this. _For some reason, I feel better leaving this place. I feel better saying goodbye and leaving it all. But.. I feel something in the pocket of Vegeta's jacket. 

I pull it out and look at it. It's a ring. It is a thick gold band, with something engraved in the middle. It has been tarnished over the years, so I cannot read it. 

I rub it vigorously until I can make out what it says. _Kakarot and Vegeta forever love_

Seeing this seems to change my mood, and make me feel sick inside again. _He must have been planning on giving this to me...before he went. _It wouldn't be so bad if I kept it, would it? 

I start to feel hesitant in leaving, but I do. I walk to Bulma's grave again, and leave the recorder there. 

_Thank you. _

I go to the beach, and lie down, thinking again. 

**** 

" Kakarot, I have a gift for you." 

"Vegeta, we don't have time for this, I need to get you to the hospital; you aren't doing so well.." 

" Kakarot, just let me give you your gift please..?" 

" Later!!" 

****  


I shouldn't have shouted at him. Now I know what his gift was.. he was going to give me this ring to represent his love for me.... I put it on my finger and look at the ground. 

I dig in the sand for a moment, until I hear someone's voice. _An old friend I have not heard from for a very long time. _Though, I try to ignore it, not thinking it was actually real. I continue to dig up the sand, and slowly bury my hand. 

" Goku! Listen to me!" I hear King Kai's voice again. 

" King Kai? Is that really you?" 

" Yes Goku, who'd you think it was?" He grunts. " I just had some good news for you." 

" Good news.. I could use some of that.. but it won't help me... Though.. it's great to hear from you. How come you haven't talked to me in so long?" We talk through our minds. 

" Busy.. Umm.. How have you been doing Goku?" 

" I've not been too great lately." 

" As I heard. Still mourning his death, neh?" 

" Yes.. I still can't forget it. It still eats at me.." 

" I know what happened Goku." 

My head pops up when I hear that. _How could he know? _

" Because Goku.. I know.. _he _told me." 

My eyes widen. " You've talked to him?! He knows? Where is he? How is he doing? How did he take it...? Is he okay? Is he mad at me?" 

" Woa! Woa! Slow down boy! You'll find out in due time. You can ask him this yourself." 

" Really?! Get him please quick!" My eyes brighten up.

" I can't do that! But I have done one thing.. I have talked to Yemma.. I told him the condition you've been in.. and.. the only way he can help you is.. letting you see him once more." 

" Really?! Oh my!! That's great!" I almost start to cry with exhilaration. 

" Well.. you'll be granted one day with him..." 

" When?! When?!" 

" I don't know... soon.. after they.. _find_ him."

" What do you mean?" My head cocks to one side. 

" Well.. He was here, with me, training just for fun.. but.. after he heard about how hard you were taking it.. he left.." 

" Oh.." I suddenly feel bad.. _Did it hurt him to know what I was going through? _

" We're only doing this because.. _someone _was worried about you." 

" Who?" 

" Well a couple people... Bulma, and Trunks.. They set it up.." 

I stand still for a moment. _They would do something like that for me? After all I put them both through? _

" I have to leave you now, but I will talk to you again when we are ready to send Vegeta to see you.." 

" Thank you so much King Kai! Um.. please tell Bulma and Trunks.. Thank you and.. I .. love them.. and I'm sorry.." 

" Okay.. anyone else you'd like me to give your regards?" 

" Tell my wife and son, and everyone else that I love them.. and maybe I will see them soon in the other world..." 

I smile and fall back in the sand. _This is a dream come true. Maybe this will help me. Maybe if he forgives me.. I can forgive myself finally, and leave it behind me.. _

But... _One day? _I have so much that I want to do, and say! But I am still very very pleased...


	6. Speaking With An Angel

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, or anything else in this fic. 

A-Chan: So, I guess I made you wait long enough! Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy! ^-^

The news is just way too exciting for me. I can't believe that I will actually get to see him again. 

I walk around on the beach, staring at the sky. The clouds are so beautiful. The wind blows my hair all over, and I feel better than I have in over ten years. _What will we do when he gets here?_ ........Who cares? As long as I get to spend time with him, I could care less. I've waited for this so long. 

I glance toward the mountains and smile. I take off into the sky and fly toward them. I fly between the trees on the mountain, and feel leaves brush gently over my face. I laugh with glee. I fly straight up toward the sky. I fly as high as I can and then look at the world around me. _It will be ten times better when he gets here. But when will that be? _

A few days pass, but I wait patiently. I'd wait another lifetime if it gave me a chance of seeing him again. I love him still. I can't wait!

" Kakarot!" I hear a familiar voice yell out for me. 

Could this be the voice of Vegeta, or just another misapprehension of mine? 

" Yes?!" I yell out to what seems like nothing. 

" I can't believe it is actually you! Oh my Kami! I can't believe this... Kakarot?! It's me, your love." 

" I know it is you Vegeta! Where are you?!" 

" I am with King Kai. I can't believe I am talking to you. I could cry!" 

" Is it really you I am hearing? Am I dreaming?" 

" Of course you are not dreaming Kakarot, you silly!" 

" Why aren't you here? I thought you were coming to see me again? I have been waiting so patiently so I could see you... I missed you so much." 

****  
" Where are you Vegeta... where are you.. I miss you .. Why must you have given your life that day? I miss you.. Come back to me, my angel..." I mourn for him during the time after his death. " Why are you not back? You were supposed to come back.. They were supposed to send you back so that we could fight together like old times.." 

I mourn for him the most, but do not show it. No one knows our true feelings. I don't know if I am ready to tell them. But boy do I miss him...

****

" King Kai still has to make a deal with that Yemma.. but then.. I will be able to come back. I will see you again.. once more...." He is quiet. I think he is weeping. " I have missed you so.. much.."

" I have missed you too.. I love you so much. We have so much catching up to do.. so much to talk about." I choke up for a split second when I think about something I need to clear up. 

_Has he forgiven me? _That has been a big issue. That is what has left my heart broken. _I have not been able to forgive myself.. and I don't know if he has either..._ I need to make it up to him.. _Does he remember? _

" Yes Kakarot.. so much." 

He grows silent, I wait patiently to see if there is anything else, but he is gone. I sit on my bed with my eyes watering. This will be the best day of my life... 

_Should I tell the others? _If I tell them, they will want to see him too.. They will take up all the time that I need to see him.. I don't want to tell them. _I am being greedy. _But.. It may be different for them. They might end up being more upset seeing him return.. 

**** 

" Dad! You are back!" 

" Goku! My poor husband, you have returned to us!" 

My wife and son shed tears after seeing me literally return from the dead. _Must be painful..._

****

I walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look at my own face and then turn away. _I don't look as good as I used to..._

I clean my face and mess my hands in my hair. I try to look as good as I can. _I want to look perfect for him.._

I can't wait to see him smile again. 

I can't wait to hear him laugh. 

I can't wait to hold him

to kiss him

and show him all of my love. 

A-Chan: Alright, so I know this chapter was real short, and I am sorry. But I promise the next chapter will have a lot more in it. Trust meh, it's gonna be great. BUT, yes always a but, I will not post it until I get enough reviews. So hurry up and review if you want it! 


	7. The Angel Arrives

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything else in this ficcie. But It's my idea so ha!!

A-Chan: Alright *drum roll* Chapter seven right here, finally!!! buddum buddum. Happy? I hope so, I spent time on this! Be happy... and while you be happy, Review! I will post next chapter if I get enough!! Thank you thank you. *bows and leaves* 

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I go back to our cabin and walk around in the house. I clean it as best I can and make it look like it did before he left. That was so long ago.. 

It's so exciting to know that he is coming back. He is coming to see me. He is coming to spend a whole day with me. Once more, we will see each other. 

I lie in my bed with my hands behind my head. I stare at the ceiling and smile. This will be great. 

****

" You know Kaka, that cloud there looks like a puppy." Vegeta smiles. 

" And that one looks like a hot dog!" I laugh. 

" That one there looks like a spaceship." Vegeta says. 

" That one looks like ice cream!!!" I giggle and lick my lips. 

" That's all you think about, huh Kaka?" 

" Not quite." I say as I roll over on top of him in the field and make sweet love to him. 

****

I fall asleep on my bed alone. I toss and turn all night. I can hardly sleep, because I am too excited. I can't wait. But finally I fall asleep and sleep soundly. 

The next morning, I wake up with the sun. I wake up and see that I am covered in my blankets. 

_I didn't cover up before I went to sleep... _I must have in middle of the night. But as I lie there, I notice something strange. I hear another breath, feel another ki. 

_Vegeta?!? _My head turns to where it is coming from. My eyes widen in shock and delight when I see Vegeta asleep on the chair next to my bed. 

" Vegeta?!" I leap out of bed and trip over blankets, falling on my face. 

Vegeta jumps out of his seat and looks at me. 

" Kakarot!" He says as tears fill his eyes. 

He sits on his knees and places a hand on my chin, lifting it up ever so slightly. He smiles and kisses my lips. 

" I missed you so much." 

I sit up and pull him close. I embrace him and plan on never letting go. He leans back and kisses my cheeks and my neck. He hugs me again, and tears fall from his face to my shoulder. 

I pull him away and look at him. 

" Don't cry Vegeta, we have each other again." I smile and kiss his tears, although I am almost crying with all the joy. 

" It's been so long..." 

" Yes, and you still look wonderful," I compliment. 

" You look good too." 

I kiss him again, and we spend at least five minutes kissing in an embrace, our arms totally wrapped around each other. We sit sprawled across my bedroom floor. 

" So King Kai actually talked Yemma into this?" I ask. 

" Yes. They were worried about you. I was too... Kaka.. Why were you acting like that? You scared a lot of people..." 

" I was just.. so upset and lonely without you." 

Vegeta nods. 

" Would you like me to make you some breakfast?" I ask. 

He nods again. I decide that during breakfast, I can start a conversation, and lead to what happened. I need to know if he holds a grudge against me for what I did. 

I stir the eggs around the pan and watch as they sizzle on the skillet. Vegeta comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around my waste. He leans his head on my back and stays silent. I smile as he cuddles with me. 

Vegeta lets go and grabs a plate for both of us. As he reaches into the cupboard, I notice a watch on his wrist that says 23:46. 

" Vegeta, what is that?" I ask, although I am sure I know. 

" They gave me this timer so we could keep track of time." He takes my left hand in his and smiles, but it slowly fades. 

Vegeta looks down at my hand and turns it slightly to get a view of my fingers. He sees the ring he gave me. 

" I see you are wearing the ring..... I was planning on giving you that before...." He stops as it comes back to him, " Before you took me to the hospital....." 

We grow silent for a minute.. I do not want to bring up the conversation yet. But it seems like this would be the right time... 

I sit down and set our plates in front of us. Vegeta does not look at his plate, but looks in my eyes. 

" You have something to say..." He says as I stuff some egg in my mouth. 

" Yes..." I mumble and swallow. 

" Go ahead...." He says as he starts eating. 

" Well, I wanted to talk to you about well.. everything.." 

He stops and looks up at me. " Anything in specific?" 

" Well, yes... about.. that day in the hospital..." 

" I don't remember much of my last day, Kakarot..." 

" Well, how you died is the subject..." I stutter. 

" I died from the disease, what is there to discuss?" 

I stop. If this is what he thinks, should I tell him the truth? Is it absolutely necessary? Do I have to tell him? Maybe he is lying because he does not want it to be brought up? 

" Unless.. there is something you wanted to tell me about that?" 

My throat tightens and I stare into his eyes. 

" Well yes.. there is something I need to tell you.. But.. I don't know how." 

" Kakarot, you don't have to keep anything from me. I love you more than anything in all existence."

" Well.. It's about your death.. I just wanted to clear something up.. I ... well.." 

A-Chan: I know, terrible place to end it, terrible cliffie, but hey, if I get enough reviews, maybe I will get it up faster. Who knows? Well, Be sure to do so, I'll be real happy. And while you are waiting for my next chapter, you can check out my new story. 

I have a new story out called " Reload the Gun." It's about Vegeta, and unfortunately, Kakarot is not in it. It's about When 'Bejita,' ( I wanted to write it with their original names for a change) is being held captive by Furiza. He falls in love with another prisoner, and things get well... 'complicated.' It's going to be my best yet, and it's very dramatic. Yes, It's another *YOAI* woo hoo! So please check it out, I really don't want to have to take it down because no one is interested, just tell me what you think. I'd be much obliged. ^.^

Oh, and can someone tell me what occ means? I'm stupid, and I don't know. Forgive me. Well, thanx for your time. 

Ja Ne! 


	8. Morning

Disclaimer: Nope! Don't own it. 

A-Chan: Alright, so here is the next chap. Hope you are happy. I'm sorry that the whole day is not in one chap, there is just too much for that. ^-^ I am going to wait to post another chap after I get 7 reviews. I think that is okay to ask for? Good, good, please review. 

Alright, so I was wondering what you guys think of my stories. I love the feedback and encouragement. I also took my story I told you about "Reload the Gun" and just stole the idea (mine!) and turned it into a Vegeta/ Goku fiction. I was hoping you guys would check it out now. I was getting tired of writing it; I only really enjoy writing Vegeta/ Goku fictions. It's so worth it too! It's basically an A/U story about Vegeta and Goku being captured by Frieza. He tries to turn them into slaves, and so on. It will be as good as this one, I promise. So please check it out. It's a total yaoi though, so be prepared. It's a romance/drama/action/adventure one. Though I could not put all of those! :P Alright, I leave you alone with my ficcer now, and thanks for reading. 

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" That day.. you died.. you died in my arms.." 

" Well, I know that much Kakarot."

" Yes, but you died by my hand." I say as my lip quivers. 

" What do you mean?" He looks at me with a confused look.

" I mean.. I mean.. I did it. I sent you to the other world." 

" Kakarot.. now don't be silly..." He says as his attempt smile slowly fades.

" I pulled the pillow over your face.. I sent you away. And then I totally regretted it, and begged the heavens to send you back.. I am so sorry." 

" What? So you're saying you killed me?" 

" No it's not like that! I wanted to stop your suffering.. You were suffering, you were in pain. I couldn't bare to see you like that anymore. It just hurt too much, and I know you were in pain.." I plead. 

" So.. I know what you are saying..." 

It stays quiet for several moments while he tries to register it. He still seems a little shocked that it had happened, but not angry like I had thought he would be. I sit still, tears filling my eyes. 

" Oh Kakarot, don't be sorry. I'm glad you did it, and I appreciate it. You kept me from suffering, although I don't remember any of that. But I do remember a lot. I remember that you saved me. You saved me from myself. I was cruel and arrogant. I was stuck up and violent. My life was headed no where fast. My whole life was full of suffering, and you saved me. You showed me love that I had never felt before. It was so new, and great. It was bliss. Love.. love. Our love was like no other. Our love was unique, and beautiful. It changed me... You changed me. You helped make me a better man." 

His speech sent a knot straight to my throat. I let my tears fall voluntarily, and pull him into my arms. He was shocked by my reaction. But I hold him tight, and he soon follows with the embrace. 

" Thank you Kakarot. Thank you for all you have done." 

I kiss his cheek and his neck. I let him go and look into his eyes. 

" I noticed that change in the beginning. It made me so happy to be with you." 

" Kakarot, can we go to our beach? I loved that place.." 

" Sure." 

Vegeta changes into some of his old clothes. I watch him, and look at his body. He hasn't changed. I'm still in awe with him being here. It just seems so real, but I don't want to believe it. It's too magnificent to believe. 

Vegeta puts on some pants and a tee shirt, and I change quickly. I take his hand and slowly walk out of the cabin. I go to walk down the stairs, and Vegeta stops suddenly. 

" Is there something wrong?" 

" No. Not at all. I was just.. taking it all in. Trying to remember this place, not like I ever forgot," He laughs, " And you still have that hammock up.. and you never fixed that broken board.. I'm proud of you." He smiles. 

" I didn't want to change it, I love it here." 

" I did too." 

He looks around at the scenery, and takes in a deep breath, " The mountain breeze, the pine smell. It's all so great. Things I almost remember.." 

Vegeta takes my hand and we walk down the trail, headed for the beach on the other side of the forest. I move my hand from his and place it over his shoulder. We stay quiet for a while, just looking at the nature. 

" Tell me about what has happened since I have been gone." 

" There's nothing great Vegeta.. everything changed." 

" I'm sure there were some things that changed for the better." 

" Sure, you came back." 

We get to the beach and sits down. The sun is still coming up, and we watch it, bundled in each other's arms. It's so beautiful, and knowing I am watching it all with him makes it all that much more wonderful. 

" Vegeta I have missed this so much. We used to watch the sunrise every other day, remember?"

" Of course Kakarot, I could never forget that." 

" And we used to play in the rain, because you liked that so much. You looked great wet too," I giggle. 

" I liked being wet. It turned you on," He laughs with me. 

" I loved when we made meals together, that was so fun. I remember when we made cookies that one time, and you burned them. You were so upset, but they tasted terrific!" 

" No Kakarot, they tasted like burnt rubber, you just said that to make me feel better." He smiles and our laughter fades. 

****

" I'm sorry Kakarot, I have burnt our cookies..." Vegeta says with a sad look on his face. 

I grab a cookie and shovel it into my mouth, followed by several others. The taste shocks me, and I feel my eyes water in disgust. But he was so hopeful in the beginning when we started making these. 

" They taste delicious Vegeta! Oh my, I can't get enough of these!" I say as I shovel another in my mouth. 

" Now don't be silly Kakarot, I know you wish you could spit that out right now, but I am not going to let you! You got yourself into it!" He laughs. 

****

We have such wonderful memories. I wish we could make it all up in this day but that won't happen. I will try my best to make it all worth while though. 

" Lets go home and make a cake, for all the birthdays we missed being together!" I say cheerfully. 

" That sounds great Kakarot, but this time, you make sure it doesn't burn! ha ha." 

We walk home and run into the kitchen. I reach into a drawer and pull out an old apron. 

" Remember this, Vegeta?" I ask. 

" Oh no, not that! That was the most embarrassing thing!" He laughs.

" Oh come on, like old times!" 

Vegeta turns around and lets me tie it around him. I smile and look at him, as happy as ever. He grabs some flour and pours it into a bowl, watching as the cloud of dust flies all about. As soon as it clears, I look at Vegeta, whose face is covered in it all!

" You look like a ghost!" I laugh. 

" And you should see yourself!!" 

I watch as Vegeta adds the other ingredients into the mix. He was always good at this part, but he always burnt them. I glance at his watch. 20:00.Great. We have already spent three hours. 

But I will use the other 20 wisely. 

------------------------------------------

A-Chan: Alright, I promise it will take less than a week to get the next chap up. As long as you guys review! I am going to wait for seven though. Don't be mad. That's just how I do things, but while you wait, you can check out my other fics, I'd be happy! :D


	9. Can I Come With?

Disclaimer: I do not own!

A-Chan: So.. I suppose you have waited long enough. That was a long wait.. but I hope it was worth it. I've been busy on my other fictions too, so I won't be as fast on all my updates as I used to, but I'll still try! And if you all get a chance, check out my newest fictions if you like! They're all Goku/Vegeta too. That's pretty much all I am into writing. O well, to the story! Thanks! ^-^

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Vegeta and I decide to go on a picnic at the beach. We pack a lot of food and even the cake to take along. We take a blanket, and even towels in case we decide to swim. The weather isn't so great, but we decide to go anyway. 

" Do you want to bring a sweater, just in case it gets cold, Vegeta?" I ask.

" No, I'll be fine." He says quietly, as he takes my hand for another walk down the trail. 

We walk down the long trail toward the beach. Vegeta looks all around, paying special attention to how much the trees have grown since he has been gone. He looks at the clouded sky and lets out a sigh. 

" I miss this, too." 

We arrive at the beach and sit looking out at the water. It is cold and windy. Too bad. 

" I am cold, Kakarot. Can you hold me, please?" 

I take Vegeta into my arms and wrap us both up in the blanket. I pull out some cake and eat some, offering some to Vegeta. 

" No thanks, I don't want any cake," He says. 

" Too bad!" I giggle as I squash some on his cheek. 

Vegeta laughs and squishes some on my face. He tackles me, then pins me down, staring into my eyes. He grins slightly. 

" You are going to have to lick it off now!" He laughs. 

I lean forward and lick some off of his cheek. He smiles with satisfaction as he leans his head forward for a kiss. He kisses me with such passion that I hardly remember it being so great. His lips against mine feels so great. 

His hands roam through the locks of my hair as my hands rest on his hips. He straddles my hips and slowly runs his hand over my face, as his kiss becomes more intense. His tongue slowly teases mine as it finds its way in the middle of our kiss. I feel a chill slide down my spine as I get excited. His kiss is arousing, I admit. 

Vegeta lifts his head from mine after he realizes what he has done. He prepares to take off his shirt, so that we can go further than just kissing, before lightning strikes. Vegeta pauses in his position.

" It's.. beginning to.. rain.." He says very slowly as if it is shocking. 

" Yea, Vegeta, it rains all the time." 

" I nearly forgot how it felt.." He says as he stands up and looks to the sky. 

Vegeta closes his eyes slowly as few drops start to fall. I pick up our things and stand watching him. He does not move much, but his chest moves up and down with every slow breath. The rain begins to pour. I shiver with the cold but Vegeta ignores it. 

He sighs slowly. 

" I missed this feeling." 

-----------------------------

We arrived home with our clothes dripping wet. I walked slowly so that Vegeta could take it all in, and I'm sure he enjoyed it. He always did. His clothes were dripping wet, and they were drawn tight to his body. 

I smile as it brings back memories of old times. But then I glance at his watch. 15:00. Only fifteen hours before he would have to leave me once more... 

I turn my head down as I start to feel the sadness return. 

" Vegeta..." I say solemnly. 

" Yes, Kakarot?" 

" When you leave me again...." I pause, " can I come with you?" 

Vegeta does not answer me, but merely throws his arms around me to comfort. 

" I am sorry Kakarot. I love you so." 

"I love you too. I love you more than life.. and that's why I would give it up just to come with you.." 

" Don't give up life for me, Kakarot. I want you to live on. And if you love me, you will do that for me.." 

"But I do love you.. I just can't see you go again.. It would... Kill me.." I speak as a knot ties in my throat. 

" Please don't talk about this Kakarot..." 

And that ends our conversation. I do not want him to feel bad because I do. If he has to leave, I will try to bare it, for his sake. 

Vegeta walks up to me and slowly pulls off my clothes. He peels off my wet shirt, and then follows with my shorts. He looks over my body, and uses his hands just to recall what I felt like. He kisses my chest, my colar bone, and even my jaw bone; savoring every moment he has with me. And it's all so real. 

We change slowly into some comfortable clothes and then start up a fire. I haven't used the fireplace in years. I sit down in my sofa chair and pull Vegeta into my lap. We cuddle for a little while in front of the fire, to warm up. 

_This is the best day I have had in the longest time. Time seems to be going by so fast though. _

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A-Chan: Reviews? I'll try to update faster this time!! We're coming close to an end! O.O oh no!! 


	10. Evening full o' love makin' :P

Disclaimer: No I do not own or claim.

A-Chan: Alright! So I got another chapter up woo! Hope you're happy. We're coming close to an end here, and you know what that means? That means I will be coming out with another fiction to replace it with! He-he. Hope you check it out when it gets posted. Please do, I'd be very happy. Lemon in this chap!! Warning! 

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" Vegeta.. I love you," I say as I run my fingers through his damp hair. " I don't know how to put in words just how much I do.." 

" I love you too, Kakarot." 

Vegeta crawls out of my lap and turns toward me. He sits back on my lap with his knees straddling my hips. He kisses me deeply, with passion. _Boy have I missed this. _His lips are so soft and gentle. When he moves back to look into my eyes, he smiles. 

Vegeta then kisses me again, inviting my tongue with his. He playfully nibbles on my lip before his kiss leads down to my chest. He uses his hands to spread my shirt open, and he pulls it off. He kisses my chest and runs his tongue over one of my nibbles gently, sucking on it just enough to get me aroused once more. He leads his tongue down, all the way to where my pants begin. 

He tugs them off with impatient and leads his tongue to the inside of my thigh. I moan with protest; his light kisses and licks are not where I would want them most. I arch my back ever so slightly, to hint at what I want. But Vegeta ignores my silent pleas for attention where I need it. He lifts his head, and leads it upward, clearly surpassing the throbbing want between my thighs. 

" Vegeta..." I groan. 

He looks up at me and grins. His tongue licks at my navel playfully, and then travels down the trail toward my manhood once more. But this time he does not choose to neglect it. He scarcely licks the tip and listens to my moans. He then runs his tongue up the side before taking me fully into his mouth. 

He lets me slide throughout his mouth as his tongue explores me. I arch my back with all the pleasure. His warm tongue slides over me, and then he stops. He kisses me once more and then takes off his clothes, revealing his beautiful body, and obvious erection. He returns to my lap, and I can fell his erection brush against mine. 

This causes me to moan in between our kiss. My hands travel his body with urgency, and one stops at his entrance. I want to take him right now. I need to feel myself inside him. 

My finger slides into his entrance, and his head falls back with excitement and pleasure, leaving his fully exposed neck vulnerable to my kiss. I kiss his throat gently before removing my finger and replacing it with my burning tool. 

This time, his head flails back and moans escape from his lips. His first reaction seems to be painful, but that quickly subsides to ultimate pleasure. I lean forward with a thrust, and nibble on his chest. His eyes are closed, and his mouth open. His moans excite me more, and lead me to thrust with more urgency. My thrusts are quick and deep. 

I slide one of my hands forward to his manhood and give it a nice stroke. I hear myself moan, and feel like I can no longer hold back. I thrust into him harder and continue to stroke his manhood. His cries of delight soon become more vociferous. I know he is close, and so am I. With one more rapid thrust, and quick stroke, Vegeta and I find our release. It is almost simultaneous. His seed spills on my lower stomach. 

Our lovemaking slowly ends as I carry Vegeta to our bed. I lie him down and cover him with my blanket, and lie myself next to him. I pull him close to me, and we lie silent. I kiss him gently, and lovingly. But then I remember one thing. We have a time limit. I haven't looked at the time in a couple hours, and we made love for a while too... I am almost afraid to look at the time. 

So I don't. 

Vegeta rests his head in my nook as we cuddle. He sighs with satisfaction. We lie for several minutes, and I can't help but feel drowsy. 

I slowly drift to sleep. I sleep.... 

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A-Chan: I know, I know, it was short... But the next chapter is probably the last.. *sigh* Too bad. So how was that? I'm not real good at lemons... Tell me what you think, really, I want to hear it! I'm just a pathetic naive little yaoi fan. It probably sucked, but whateverrrrr! ..Heh.. Hi how are you? How was your day? Hope it was good... okay now I'm blabbing. Eck. Bye bye! ^.^


	11. Ending Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own!!

A-Chan: Alright. It has been months but I have finally found the courage to finish this story. Woo. Please, review and tell me what you thought of it all. Thanks for reading, and for all your encouragement. By the way, the song is Tears In Heaven, by Eric Clapton. 

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__

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong

And carry on,

'Cus I know I don't belong

Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way

Through night and day

'Cus I know I just can't stay

Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down

Time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart

have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,

There's peace I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more

Tears in heaven. 

The day was like I was in heaven with Vegeta. There couldn't be any day on Earth that would be as great as yesterday. But it's all gone. I have awoke......... and something is different. Something feels strange... something is amiss...

............

...........

............

And he is gone. 

Vegeta is gone now, and I don't know if I'll ever see him again. Does this worry me? I don't know. I don't know if I have even come to realization yet. I don't know if it has hit me; the fact that I may never see him again... 

I let the daylight from the window graze my skin as I sit quietly, without moving. I cannot seem to do anything. I can't think. I can't breath. I just sit, waiting for him to appear in the bed next to me again.

I fall to my knees. 

__

Gone. Gone again. He has left me again. Everything will change again Vegeta, you are not around. You are gone. You are in the heaven I may never be. It might take eternity before we meet each other again. What am I supposed to do. 

But what do I expect? It's not like he can stay forever with me. It seems so selfish and yet it's exactly what I wanted. I never wanted to have to say goodbye to him. _Goodbye.... goodbye. I refuse to say it. _

I will not say it. I will not let him leave my life. He may leave me but part of him will always stay. But it still hurts like ever. 

I fall back on my bed to lie, but hit something hard where my back lands. I lift it up and realize it is the recorder. 

__

So this is all I'm left with. This is the only thing of him I have left..... As I did before. 

How could I love someone so much that I would rather have no life or after life, than one without them? 

I hold the recorder close to me, and look over it. The timer seems to be ahead from where I was the last time I looked, like it needs to be rewound. Something tells me to turn it on though. 

" Kakarot, you are so beautiful. I love you so much. You mean more to me than anything, and I will see you again. Do not worry my love, for I will spend all eternity with you soon. I am sorry I did not wake you.. for... it was not a possibility. Your body will rest forever." 

This strikes me in a different way. I don't seem to comprehend what he was saying, but then it hits me. This is not my room, nor my house. It does seem like it, but something is oddly different, it looks fresh, new. Everything looks so peaceful. It's as if I have awoken in a different way. 

And then there's a knock at the door. 

I open the door to see Vegeta standing in front of me, he looks the same as ever, but even more beautiful than before. His halo is bright and his hand is held out, waiting for mine. 

" It's time to go Kakarot... It's time. You can come with me now. You will come to heaven with me." 

I will go with him to rest in peace. We will live out our after lives together, for I passed away that night to join him, as if my soul couldn't bare to see him go, as if my soul just had to go with. 

I take his hand, and feel like I am already in heaven with him..

*************

He did more than walk me to heaven, to my resting place. He saved me from myself, from the hell I could have brought upon myself for living without him. He helped me, saved me, ending tears. 

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A-Chan: Yes, that's the end. Goku will be able to join Vegeta in heaven, and stay with him like he always wished. What did you think of it? Good? Bad? Ugly? Tell me! ^-^


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